Flight of the Rabid Turtles!
by the elsinatr
Summary: All of Konoha is awakened by the sound of a million turtles? WHAT IS GOING ON? contains massive amounts of crack...beware.
1. Ramen Songs and Emo Children

**Warning: This fic was done because, first of all, I ate too much cake. You have been warned!**

**Content: It's a NARUTO musical! with crack in it!**

**Flight of the Rabid Turtles**

(All is quiet in the village of Konoha. The first to awake is Lady Hinata. She looks around, and tries to remember her dream.)

Hinata: WTF? Why was I dreaming about turtles last night?

(Neji comes in)

Neji: Are you okay, Hinata-san? You said something about turtles.

Hinata: I'm perfectly fine (smiles a fake smile)

Neji: Don't worry. I dreamt about turtles too.

Hinata: YOU TOO! (grabs a butterknife and heads out the door in her pajama kimono)

Neji: (thinking) Boy, if she wasn't my cousin....kukukuku,,HAHAHAHAH MWAHHAHAHAHHA!

(He looks up and sees Hanabi staring at him)

Hanabi: Father! Neji's doing it again!

(Meanwhile in the Naruto household)

Naruto: Yay! RAMEN! (grabs a bowl of ramen)

Naruto: 1..2..3..4.. (**The Ramen Song!**)

_Ramen! Everybody's favourite!_

_Ramen! So good you can barely taste it!_

_Ramen! My knees start to quiver_

_Ramen! I think I have a fever!_

_Kakashi tells me to eat some veggies,_

_That'll never do._

_Because Ramen is my heroine_

_And I'm an addict too!_

(Naruto dies from MSG poisoning)

(Wherever Kiba is)

Kiba: It's okay, Akamaru. You don't need to get scared about turtles

(Akamaru whimpers)

Kiba: Hey! Let's go the Ichiraku place! That'll cheer you up!)

(Akamaru gives him a kiss)

(They head off)

Shino: By the way, I had a dream about turtles, but I GUESS NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!!!!! I'LL JUST CREATE A VAST ARMY OF INSECTS AND TEAR DOWN THIS PLACE! OR MAYBE I'LL JOIN THE AKATSUKI AND TURN INTO A MASSIVE PSYCHO WHO'S SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED!!!!!! (whimpers) Nobody loves except for people I don't know! (lets the insects in his body devour him)

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I shall make this a three-shot. kukukuku..........

Don't worry I didn't take any illegal substances while making this...I'm just taking a break from all of my fics!

Read and REVIEW!

A/N: Whaddya think, Apple of the Sand???


	2. WTH? BLOODY PICNICS?

**A/N: CONTAINS MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF CRACK**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...sniff sniffle....**

**WHAT THE HELL, BLOODY PICNICS???**

(Kakashi goes up to Naruto's apartment to check up on Naruto.)

Kakashi: Oh my holy unmentionables! Naruto's making out with his ramen!!

(In fact, Naruto also has been drowned by his ramen, due to the fact that when he collapsed, his bowl was right in front of him and he was too busy singing to eat...^_^)

Kakashi: Gotta go get help! (notices a magazine on the ground.)

Kakashi: Is this NARUTO'S?? (looks through it) kukuku...(leans back on Naruto's bed.)

(Sakura, Ino, and Tenten walk in.)

Sakura, Ino and Tenten: KAKASHI-SENSEI!

Kakashi: What?

Sakura, Ino and Tenten: YOU KILLED NARUTO!

Kakashi: Say what?

Sakura, Ino and Tenten: THANK YOU SO MUCH! (they run forward and hug him)

Kakashi:(perverted side kicks in) LET'S HAVE A SEXY PARTAII!

(They all run around screaming)

(Itachi comes in and they stop)

Itachi: WTF?

Everyone except for Itachi: What the Holy KD LUNCHES!

Itachi: I'm gonna leave now...(He leaves, only to be eaten by a gigantic turtle. Everyone in Naruto's apartment sweatdrop)

(Meanwhile, somewhere in Konoha)

Sasuke: I'm an emo bastard all right. I think I'm really gonna kill myself today....JUST KIDDING! (squeals like a girl)

Shikamaru and Gaara: (having a picnic)

Sasuke: DID YOU HEAR ME? IMA BLOW MYSELF UP!

Gaara: (opens his gourd and sand envelopes Sasuke) You're a little bitch, you know that?

Sasuke: um...wth?

Gaara: I'll let you go, but only because I'm eating and I don't want blood on my sandwiches.

Sasuke: (runs away screaming like a girl) DOBE-KUN!

Shikamaru: I like mooses and meeses.

Gaara: STFU Shika.

(Suddenly the ground is covered with snapping turtles who are foaming at the mouth. They're all heading out of Konoha)

Gaara: AAAAAAHH! ZOMBIES! (takes out whipcream sprayer and sprays the turtles)

Shikamaru: NO! MOOSES!

Gaara: What-the-freakin' star trek, man! THESE ARE ZOMBBIIIEEEES! (screeches like a girl and runs away) TEMARI-NII-CHANN! HELP MEEEEEE!

(Meanwhile somewhere in the outskirts of Konoha)

Konan and Madara: Excellent.

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Don't even ask why I made this up! LOL, it's fun writing this though!

READ AND REVIEW!


	3. THE END or is it?

Disclaimer: I own not Naruto any!

The END!!...or is it?

Konan and Madara: Konoha will die! Go turtles GO!

Guy (Guy appears): THE POWER OF YOUTH! (soccer punches both of them, they die)

Rock Lee (appears behind Guy): GUY-SENSEI! YOU'RE THE GREATEST!

(They hug, tears falling down their faces)

(Meanwhile)

Hinata: I must kill turtles in order to become clan leader! (picks up her butterknife)

Hinata: KYAHHHHHHHH!

(Shikamaru and Gaara are five metres away from her, enjoying their picnic. They have forgotten about the zombies and the meeses.)

Shikamaru: Should we...?

Gaara: NO, SHIKA! EAT YOUR SANDWICH OR I'LL UNLEASH MY SISTER ON YOU!

Shikamaru: (wipes tears off his face and nibbles sandwich)

(Suddenly all the turtles stop moving around and magically disappear)

Hinata: NO! WHERE ARE THE TURTLES!?!?!?!??

Gaara: Die, BITCH! (makes hand gestures)

Hinata: IMA KILL YOU WITH A BUTTERKNIFE, GAARA!

Shikamaru: Troublesome....

(Neji appears)

Neji: NO! (makes Hinata and Gaara stop fighting)

Hinata: Neji-nii-san?

Neji: STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!

Hinata: Gomen.

(Kakashi comes in with Ino, Sakura and Tenten on his arms)

Kakashi: Yo.

Neji, Shikamaru, Gaara, Ino, Sakura, Tenten and Hinata: WTH???

(Guy and Rock Lee appear)

Guy: We have youthful news for you, fellow comrades. Rock Lee and I are more than sensei and student.

(Sadly, no one is surprised)

Sakura: We figured as much.

Rock Lee: See, Guy-sensei? They have ACCEPTED US!

Guy: I WILL STRIVE TO BECOME THE BEST FOR YOU, LEE-KUN!

Rock Lee: THIS YOUTHFULNESS IS TOO MUCH! I LOVE YOU GUY-SENSEIIII!

Guy: LEE-KUN!

Rock Lee: GUY-SENSEI!

Guy: LEE-KUN!

Rock Lee: GUY-SENSEI!

Guy: LEE-KUN!

Rock Lee: GUY-SENSEI!

Kakashi: Well, I guess the panic's over...let's go...

Guy: LEE-KUN!

Rock Lee: GUY-SENSEI!

Guy: LEE-KUN!

Sakura: I think I'll go over to Ino's..

Rock Lee: GUY-SENSEI!

Guy: LEE-KUN!

Rock Lee: GUY-SENSEI!

Neji: SHUT UP, YOU QUEERS!

Hinata: Oh, you're one to talk, Neji-san.

Neji: Whatever, Hinata. You have a great body.

(Everybody slowly turns around from what they're doing and stare at Neji)

Neji: WTH???? (realizes his mistake and runs away)

(So everyone in the village is happy, and during this happy time, no one realizes that Jiraiya and Tsunade have been making out underneath their noses the whole time.)

THE END...


End file.
